AI and Human Connection in Schools: Can We Have Both?

Why schools need technology that strengthens community, not isolates learners.

1. Learning Happens in Relationships

A few weeks ago, at my son’s elementary school spring carnival, I watched his eyes light up as his favorite teacher climbed into the dunk tank. Kids lined up eagerly, cheering each other on as they tried to send her plunging into the water. It was one of those pure, joyful school moments that technology simply can't replicate.

My son is advanced for his age in math and personalized learning technologies play a meaningful role in his life. At home, he regularly explores challenging concepts through adaptive platforms like IXL, which stretch him academically beyond what his classroom offers, and he genuinely enjoys them. But even with the clear academic benefits of personalized tools, he thrives in group discussions, collaborative projects, and the spontaneous moments that unfold throughout the day.

Just last week, on the last day of school, many students lingered, tears in their eyes, reluctant to leave their teachers and friends. It wasn’t just the end of classes they were mourning. It was the temporary loss of a community that nurtures and supports them every day.

As a parent, former teacher, and learning researcher, I'm reminded of something consistently supported by decades of educational research: learning isn’t merely information transfer, it’s relational, emotional, and fundamentally social.

This raises an urgent question:

As AI becomes embedded in classrooms, can we use technology to deepen these human connections instead of eroding them?

I believe we can, and this space is dedicated to thoughtfully exploring how.

2. The Promise and the Problem of AI

Research shows that personalized learning tools can accelerate growth, offer targeted support, and increase equity, especially for students without regular one-on-one attention. Ethan Mollick, a professor at Wharton, suggests we evaluate AI not against an ideal teacher, but the Best Available Human. By that standard, AI can be a lifeline in under-resourced schools or for students facing illness or instability. In these cases, it isn’t replacing connection, it’s providing access where none exists.

But we also need to be honest: in many classrooms, AI tools isolate more than they connect. Screens, headphones, and solo tasks often dominate—not always by choice, but due to limited staff, time, and behavioral supports. In this context, we can’t criticize educators for relying on screens, rather we should be designing tools that align with the social nature of learning and the real pressures of today’s classrooms.

The risk is building AI for efficiency while neglecting the human side of learning. Thinkers like Dewey and Vygotsky, along with research from the National Academies (How People Learn II, 2018), remind us that peer dialogue, shared inquiry, and classroom relationships are essential to learning.

As one high school teacher recently told me, post-pandemic students increasingly turn to devices for connection, even during class. The more siloed their interactions become, the harder it is to rebuild community.

This isn’t about rejecting AI. It’s about using it wisely to expand access and support learning, without sacrificing the relationships that make it meaningful.

If we want AI to support the heart of learning, we need to ask different questions like:

• Can AI spark dialogue, not just deliver content?

• Can AI amplify quieter voices, not just optimize answers?

• Can AI support teacher judgment, not override it?

3. Why Getting This Right Matters

These questions point to something deeper. The way we bring AI into classrooms will shape not just how students learn, but how they come to understand the purpose of learning itself. As AI takes on more of the knowledge work we once saw as uniquely human, we’re faced with a deeper challenge:

What should education be aiming for now?

If AI can deliver facts, automate practice, and even write essays, then the real value of school lies elsewhere, in helping students grow as thinkers, collaborators, and community members. We need to focus on what only humans can cultivate: curiosity, empathy, judgment, and the ability to navigate a complex and connected world.

This is a broader conversation, and one I’ll return to in future posts. But it starts here, with designing tools that reflect the full humanity of the classroom, and a vision of learning that prepares students not just to compete, but to contribute.

4. What You Can Expect Here

This Substack is for educators, researchers, builders, and parents—anyone exploring how AI, when used with care, can enhance learning while keeping it safe, dynamic, and deeply human.

I'll post every couple of weeks, sharing clear reflections, frameworks, and real-world examples drawn from classrooms, research, and conversations with experts and practitioners.

Above all, this is a space for dialogue and genuine co-learning, not hype or empty predictions.

Have you seen technology deepen connection in your classroom, or unintentionally isolate students? I want to hear from you!